The Contract...!!!

e7m e7m, heeeh...donyaaa...
an old video passing in front of my eyes showing many different phases of my life...
it is my born...(All people were chocked of course :D)
and the phases of primary school...(I can not remember much about it but it was nice except its end :-( !!!)
oh, here is the prep school ...(it is the best phase in my life which I can not never forget)
mmm, here is my secondary school ... (I enjoyed it but not that much and I remember that I was totally alone of 3 years)
wow, I am at the university now ... (in fact, I did not feel it much but the best event in my life happened during this phase ... I won't tell about this event of course :P)
and I am now finally graduated and quickly found a job and as a dream I signed the company contract ... I can not believe until now that I did such a thing ... It was some thing new in my life..

I felt with more responsibility ... I felt that I grown up ... Regardless of any noise may spoil this new event I feel really happy...
I am not at school or college any more I am not under the loyal of any body...
now, I can choose my way by my self and think more separately...

really, practical life is more different ... Until now it is more nice and interesting but should it be for ever?!!!...
I transferred from a very closed area to more wide and different people and relations ...
even I still like to be alone and I do not like this mood but I feel that I will be able isA to interact easily with this environment ...
by the way, as a note I do not feel that I got divorced really... :-S

from my great decisions after signing the contract that I will do my best to not let my life only PC and PC for ever... I will try isA to have more interests or to back to my old activities ;-) ... But can not hide that I am so afraid that may I won't be able to do that :-(:-(

I ask Allah to help me and help all people to be transferred easily from one phase to another different phase in their life and to interact easily with its environment isA...

Real Illusion...!!!

At another part of our earth... a place not exists on our Map... in a very old and strange house... sitting there alone ... looking towards an old and broken window...

only the wind screaming loudly announcing a very cold night ... the moon trying hardly to escape from cloud groups to stretch its light ... seems it was impossible to do and it was beaten easily by these large group numbers... trees asking for help and its leaves lost its hope to stay at the top!!!... The sea is very angry and acting as a nervous man spreading its anger quickly and strongly...


seems she is not hearing or feeling any thing of what happen outside ... in front of her a candle melting and its fire going down ... it is the only candle she has ... she feels very cold ... waiting for the power to come back ... beside the pain of cold weather she has the pain of waiting ... the pain of loosing the hope ... she ignores any illusion sounds inside here ... they telling her "GIVE UP" , "U DECIVE UR SELF", "IT IS ONLY AN ILLUSION ", "COME BACK TO UR SELF"... but she do not care about her self any more ... The power will back to her warm, safe , pity and even her self BUT, as soon as the candle dies she will lose every thing FOR EVER ...!!!


she telling her self ..."I won't lose the hope...this kind of power will come back soon ... it will clear all sadness inside my life... but, I feel like my heart being squeezed complaining about many wounds hurting it , my breath being locked and my feelings being killed ... how can I hide all that ?! ... I can not bear more but I will bear until the last breath in my body ... I feel like a huge scream inside me ... I want to scream loudly but there is another hard pressure preventing it comes out... Allah, help me"...


The clock in the room act as her enemy... it runs quickly ... with each second pass a bit of hope die....!!!

if only she can stops the time or goes back with it ... she needs to renew her hope badly ... she wish if she really can generate infinite numbers of the same hope...

But, it is life rules...!!! And since she lives in this life u MUST follow its rules directly...

A scream inside her says "COME BACK... WAITING U ... GIVE ME ONLY ONE LINE OF THIS POWER ... I NEED IT BADLY...DO NOT GO AWAY...I WON'T LOSE THE HOPE!"...

So, we do not know....
If really the power will be back soon to renew her life again?!! OR, the candle will die announcing the death of her hope and her self for ever...!!!


And for me I wonder if she could find another real hope to wait for not only an illusion!!!!

Personal Interview...!!! LOL ... !

When u such mention this title I will be the last person to think about...!!!


today was my personal interview at DMS after passing the technical exam by high grade...Since I heard that is a PERSONAL interview I did not care to do any thing ... I knew that I will do bad in such an interview but I called Allah to be with me...


and here is the interview day, in the morning I was so calm until I found some one was before me leaving the interview room and he looked so angry and sad...As I am a person that get affected by the environment around me ... people, events and even actions I begin to fell worry as I expect any one on the earth will be better than me at a personal interview !!!


Then the turn come on another person , this time I felt that I am at the dentist :-S ( the dentist is the most doctor I HATE , he cause me a lot of pain!)... And I am waiting now for my turn.!


OOOPsss, here is my turn... I opened the door and I was chocked to find 5 persons looking towards me and I was so embarrassed to c all of them start laughing at me ... :'( , I thought to leave the room directly for that but I was so shy to do so I tried to say "slamo alykom" but no answer, seems that they did not hear me... I walked towards my chair and it was not easy for me to catch this big chair and sit down carefully that is what made them laugh louder ... :'(:'(


by the way , I will never forget this day and this situation .. I got really embarrassed...About the rest of the interview was great for me and I calmed down easily after they begin talking with me about my project, my thinking , my life and my point of view of the future of the image
processing in Egypt isA ... :-D ( I felt as I am a professional in image processing and they just ask about my point of view depending on my experience :-S)...


We came to a little hard part that is to talk about my self in ENGLISH ( hey, no comment :-D)... My answer was that I am not that good in English to express my self using it... They start laughing again :'(:'(:'( ( here I felt that I'm like a clown or some thing who make funny stuff to enjoy them!!! :-S)
It was really bad, any way... They satisfied to talk just about my hobbies and interests by English ... It was not that hard for me by the way :-D then I back again to my main language ARABIC :-D ( hope that I am even good in Arabic)...


I noticed that they kept noting some degrees for each answer for me and I tried hardly to c any degrees from my distance, they noticed that and I think this childish action was funny for them too :'(:'(:'(:'( ...


The interview ended by them telling me "ok, thx Mona, we will call u soon isA :-)" and by me saying " hmf, thx Allah... :-S". regardless for the very bad weather today, it was really a very
FUNNY and embarrassing day at the same time for me...


Now, waiting for results... :-D

IBM EXAMS...!!!

Offffffffffff, I have finished my college exams to find another PACKAGES of exams...Today was IBM exam ... It was not an Exam in fact it was like the HELL...

It was organized at our wonderful faculty ... They cut the source of the air at the exam place ..May u ask why?! The answer is cuz the weather is soo cold of course... Do not ask such a stupid question again!!! :-S


But, what about the exam?!... IBM's EXAM...It consists of 7 exams... Some are mandatory and others are optional...

1- IQ test (mandatory).
It was so good, I liked it and enjoyed it much except a few questions not belongs to IQ or intelligence at all...It needs at least a geography teacher... :-S


2- C++ or Java exam (mandatory)
of course I chose C++ (C++ for ever :-D)...It was so easy and never test ur programming skills, I could not believe that is really IBM exam for C++ !!! (not a bit line to think about :-S)...It was the basics of the basics...Even the Algorithms part (WOW, it is BINARY SEARCH...:-S!!!).And for java exam I do not know much cuz I hate java and did not use it much but there were some stupid restrictions on java exam (ex:- 5 points will be decreased from the whole mark for each wrong answer ...What a rule?!!! :-S).These restrictions were not with C++ (May be cuz IBM is java and java and java for ever...)


3-English exam (mandatory).
I know well that I am so bad in English but really not that bad to feel like a donkey in front of today's exam... It was like a ware ... A lot of sections(there was a section asked me to give the nearest meaning for some words...In fact,if some one just told me the meaning may I will TRY to get the nearest meaning :-S!!!)IBM at Egypt and if I will travel to USA and live there for 10 years I won't take such an exam to test my language!!!...I have another notice that may this company refuse a very good programmers becuz of their language although their language not bad but it will decide that they are FRENCH people if they took such this exam!!! ... (by the way I am not mean ME by these very good programmers of course.. :-D).


4- OOP exam (mandatory).
I was so happy to take such an exam but it was a chock for me when I found that the title does not belong at all to the content of this exam ... They should replace the title by UML exam... Yes,only one question talking about interface and abstract class but go throw the rest of questions to find ur self into a HOLE of UML questions... :-D, come on here IBM, are OOP is only UML ?!!!...


5- Data Base exam (optional).
Hello, welcome with U... I begun to hate this word... thx Allah that is was an optional exam but I took it just for curiosity and blamed my self A lot after that to just think about that...It was not that bad but it reminds me by Syaam's lectures (BORING!!!)...Each lecture contains the same info and just change the order of words ... "NN is efficient" and " efficient is the NN"...The same today at the exam, u find ur self solving a page of only select statements with the same idea and just change the table name...:-D...hey IBM, r u test our ability to copy and paste the same idea?!!!...


6- General IT (optional).
I did not take it cuz DB throw me to the edge of the hell... And I am not sad cuz that as I know well that I have only one mind and I had to do my best to keep it safe ... My blood boils when I just remember its questions like (what is XML? What is SSL?... What about what is IBM?:P:P:P...)!!!


7- Testing exam( mandatory for who want testing).
I took it just to know some thing about this new kind of exam... The first questions is what is software testing?!...I know that I had to find a definition from my point of view for testing but I found my self want to write "testing:- is to test the mind for people who wrote IBM exams!!!"...


Oh My GOD, I can not believe that is really an EXAM for a professional company like IBM to choose the people who should develop its software!!!... I think it was an exam to test if u can make a poteteos salad....!:-D


By the way, I have a question here why all these exams after spending four years at FCIS?!...Why did not improve our skills only in these topics along the 4 years unless taking other useless courses like "LAW"?!... IT IS MY COUNTRY EGYPT :-D


finally, I wanna say...
GO TO HELL IBM...:p!!!

Big Efforts and Low Grades...!!!

After a few hours I have an exam at a company consists of ...
1) communicational skills (e7m, Not at me of course :-S ) and English ( I am hardly talking Arabic aslan :-D)...
2) IQ test... ( that is my game ;-))
3) DB exam... ( When using or talking about DB I feel that I am like a data entry :-S ... I hate DB, it is so boring!!!).
4) technical exam consists of OOP and algorithms ... ( why not since I graduated from CS department :-D, but Allah only knows that I should got an exam at potatoes kinds instead :-S).

I'm little worried and so much afraid (ok, I know that is me all the time)...
Really, the word "exam" interrupts all negative feelings inside me and transform me in a very bad mood... I HATE EXAMS ... :@

By the way, it is not mean that I keep crying all the time cuz I have an exam... In fact it pushes me to keep doing a very big efforts in order to collect as much information as I can ... Understand and practice most of them and try to memorize a very small part ..(by the way I have a very bad and volatile memory :-S )... Some times I ignore sleeping cuz I am so worried

Ouch, all of that in vain... Even with this big efforts I am still that stupid person with low grades for ever ... :-(
if any normal person with a normal mind just did the half of my work he/she will get better grades than me ... Why?! ... I wish to know ... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ?! ... :'(

I trust my self and know my abilities well, I do my best to improve my thinking and I make a big efforts to have more experience... What else?!

seems it is the nature of my mind ... Not all people have the same mind and ability to understand well.. There are people who take the input and process it to generate a successful output , Others take the input and process it 20 times but at last generate a failure (that is me...:-( )

If I am not useful for my self I hope to be useful for others, I wish if I could help them with my little info and very low thinking ... !!!
it is really my happiness to help others and share my information with them ... OR I am not useful in that too?! ...

Any way, I think it is time to have a small rest now before my exam since whatever I did it will be in vain as usual...!!!

Allah helps me and All of u to get more and more success isA ...

just say :- "ya raaaaaaaaaab"...

Finally... It Is Graduation...!!!

After a collection of horrible thoughts along 2 days ago ...
After a long time of waiting ...
After a huge amount of mind and feelings pressure...
Finally it is my FATE ... Finally it is my GRADUATION ...

HEY ALL, I have PASSED... I have GRADUATED ... :-D
Go to HELL FCIS ... Go to HELL EXAMS .... Go To HELL Hatem :p ... Go To HELL Seyaam :p:p
I am not under ur control any more ... :P:P:P

from the most horrible moments during waiting for my results was knowing that i have failed !!! ... Allah forgives some one for that horrible JOKE :-S ... Any way i will take my revenge for that SOON isA :@...

any way, no matter what happened ... No matter what will happen isA ... The most important that i finally FREEEE ... I am so happy, so surprised and nearly chocked ^o)

ok ok... isA, i did not forget ur 1000 L.E ;) ...

Congratulation for me ... Congratulation for every body have passed and hard luck for others ... Hope u will join me soon isA ...

OOOppsss, Can not hide that i am so afraid and worry now about my future ...

Allah with me and with all of u isA ... :-D

Waiting For Results...!!!

A collection of nightmares even while I am awake ...

waiting for my fate ... TO BE OR NO TO BE...
to graduated or to stay another year at my college...

what a horrible pain ?!!!... It is the pain of waiting... I feel like my heart is being squeezed... I feel like my breath stopped...!!!

Allah help me to pass these horrible moments ... Erase me fear...
and back my soul by knowing that I have been passed ISA :'(

Graduation Prom...!

hey, what a day?!!!... It was a wonderful party.. I enjoyed with each moment... :-)
it is really a different feeling... It was my first time to feel it but really really it is AMAZING... Feeling of GRADUATION ... :-D

Wooow, wearing this cap and coat and holding my certificate in my hand ... Plus taking photos for this nice moment ... ;-)

by the way, I think it was so early to feel with cuz I did not get my degrees yet :-S
it is like when u write a code related to a button click and u got just happy cuz u finished writing ur code But, u r not sure if u gonna click this button at run time it will really work and u celebrate with ur success or u will find a stupid exception in front of ur face announce that u failed to write a right code... :-S.

I can imagine that, I enjoyed my time and celebrated with my graduation to find my degrees in front of my face telling me that I should back to college to spend another year... What a HORRIBLE feeling ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :-( ...

any way, I wish to say...
Thx Allah ... :-)
Thx my parents... :-)
Thx for every body acknowledge and supported me ... :-)
Thx a lot koky... :-)
Thx for a small group of college stuff helped me by any info one day :-) ... And hope from Allah to forgives others ... :-S

do not know what is the future hide for me...
Hope ISA it will be fine for me and for all people I have spent a very nice time with them ... :-)